Ivy Park Launches Today: Hold on to your Wigs
When your daddy Alabama and your mama Louisiana, you mix that negro with that creole make…Ivy Park launch today?! Beyoncé left the world yearning for more music after the drop of the supposedly controversial song and video, Formation. Now we have the entire Beyhive all in formation and everything, folding their edges and preparing their wigs for the snatching and here we stand with full heads of hair pressing replay on Formation because, you know...Beyoncé. And though we've temporarily put away the coconut oil, we've re-scheduled our new birthdays for April 14th, 2016 in the meantime and we suggest you do too because we know (emphasis on the "know") we are going to be given LIFE today! We're excited for the launch of “Ivy Park”, King Bey’s chic athletic line of jackets, leggings, sports bras and cute tops with “IVY PARK” in bold block letters adorning most pieces. After all, Beyoncé had us on a drip a few weeks ago when she gave us the teaser and will have us on house arrest all day while we wear out our mousepads clicking refresh on the websites that dared to feature this sure to sell out line.
The inspiration behind the fused name comes from the street of her childhood home “Parkwood Drive” and her daughter of course, Princess Blue--cool story sis…I’ll be in Top Shop with every last coin I've earned this pay period to cop.
We just hope you and your friends heeded the sage advice of Bey when she told you months ago to get in formation. We have already copied our credit card numbers in preparation to paste it in at checkout. We've assigned each friend to a specific website with our orders as to not be in competition with each other. Our sizes have been shared, our color preferences and our bust sizes have been uploaded to the shared google excel sheet and we are ready OK?! Workout schedules are still in the works.
We're going to go ahead and speculate while we're at it: is the album coming out today as well? We’ll be even more excited if she slips her 5th solo album on iTunes real quick so that she can tranquilize the Beyhive (maybe this way some will be distracted thus lessening the clog we know we'll face on various websites?!) and make sure we have something to look forward to by the time her World Tour begins! Like us, many of you have blindly purchased a ticket to the “Formation World Tour” without blinking or thinking about it because, again, Beyoncé. HOWEVER, we don’t know how much longer our poor little hearts can take such anticipation. In true royal fashion, the Queen is never late--she doesn't show up when you want her to but she is always on time; others are simply early enough to get a good seat for the wait. If this album doesn’t launch today, then you’ll see us again with more to report on this matter--that and our hospital records because blood pressures are high honey. The mystery is killing us all, but the world is NEVER disappointed.
Azalia Brown and Ruth Jean-Marie decided to play double-dutch on this particular article. Shout out to NYC public schools for not giving us tennis courts. Azalia (not Iggy or Banks) hails from Harlem, NY and Ruth (Ruthie, Ruthless) is one of those Brooklynites that honestly won’t live anywhere else in the country. Despite their long distance friendship (yes. long distance), these two seem to have made it work—partly because they were stranded in the cold abyss that is Binghamton for four years—some refer to it as an undergraduate career. Not only do they write together, they protest, joke, shop and travel together too. Follow Azalia at @azaliaism and Ruth at @lesocialnomad on Instagram. If you do, you’ll get the key to their other social media pages.